Caring Again

I used to build things that flew, engines of gas, steam and noise
I sang loud, danced, drew pictures
The breakfast at the Highway 29 Cafe was almost a religious experience
In those days, there was time to sit on a hillside in Japan in the rain
just to watch a spider fix her web
The windblown hair of a woman could stop the stars in the sky, and my heart
In short, I was alive
Over time, I don’t know where or when,
I got in the habit of doing more, doing it faster…
“good enough” became my favorite lie.
Suppose I could blame it on the demands of others, but it was really me
I stopped caring,
I stopped loving,
I began to despise
and make excuses
and judge…
I did those things and I repent
By the grace of God I will remember that family, friends and associates are neither angels nor demons, just people who should be forgiven and loved
I can’t change yesterday and I don’t have tomorrow,
so today is my only chance to

  • ruin my wife’s shoes by walking her home in the rain,
  • waste money on dates and dinners
  • lose too many hours over truly great coffee and steak and beer
  • obsess over the needs of others

And finally, by the power of God’s indwelling presence I promise to linger over daily marvels, infuse my life with wonder and my work with diligence so that once again I might truly live.